Practical routines for keeping up with a parent when you’re not nearby.
AT A GLANCE
- Starting with a Conversation
- Sharing the Work with Others
- Finding Someone Nearby
- Long Distance Caregiving Starts with a Call Routine
- Making Phone Calls Easier to Understand
- Keeping Information in One Place
- Staying Involved in Appointments
- Taking Care of Yourself
Long distance caregiving often starts quietly. A parent mentions they’ve stopped driving at night, or a neighbor lets you know the porch light has been off for a few days. When you live hours away, or even across the country, moments like these can leave you wondering how to help from where you are.
Being far away can make caregiving feel difficult, and it’s easy to worry that you’re not doing enough. Many of the most helpful things a long distance caregiver does, like keeping in touch, coordinating help, and staying organized, can happen from anywhere. Here are some practical tips for staying involved in a way that works for you and the person you’re caring for.
Starting with a Conversation
Before making plans, it helps to talk with your parent about what kind of support they’d actually like. Some people welcome help with groceries or rides but prefer to manage their own medications and appointments. Asking first, and respecting their answers, helps your parent keep as much independence as possible.
If other family members or friends are involved, it can be helpful to include them in the conversation too. A group phone call, a video call, or a sit-down during a holiday visit can all work. If your parent has hearing loss, choosing a quiet time, taking turns talking, and turning on captions for video calls can help everyone follow along.
Sharing the Work with Others
Caregiving tends to go more smoothly when more than one person is involved. The National Institute on Aging’s guide to getting started with long-distance caregiving suggests thinking about what each person can realistically take on, based on where they live, their schedules, and their strengths.
One way to start is by writing down the regular needs, such as rides, meals, prescriptions, bills, home repairs, and social time. Then you can match each one with someone who’s able to help. One person might handle paperwork from a distance, while someone who lives closer helps with appointments. Even if you’re the main point of contact, you don’t have to take on everything yourself.
Finding Someone Nearby
When you live far away, having a trusted person nearby can be a real comfort. This might be a neighbor, a longtime friend, someone from your parent’s place of worship, or a local volunteer. Their role doesn’t have to be big. A quick visit, a shared cup of coffee, or a text letting you know everything looks fine can mean a lot.
It’s a good idea for your local contacts to have your phone number and know how your parent prefers to communicate. With your parent’s okay, if they hear best face to face or use captions on phone calls, letting others know can make their visits and calls go more smoothly.
Long Distance Caregiving Starts with a Call Routine
For many families, regular phone calls are the heart of long distance caregiving. Setting a regular time to talk, like Sunday afternoons or Wednesday mornings, gives both of you something to look forward to. It can also make it easier to notice if something seems different from one week to the next.
You might keep a short list of things to ask about during each call, such as upcoming appointments, how they’re feeling, and whether anything around the house needs attention. Leaving room for regular conversation matters too. Talking about a favorite show or a recent visit with a friend helps calls feel like time together instead of a checklist.
Making Phone Calls Easier to Hear
If your parent has hearing loss, phone calls can become more difficult over time. They may start keeping calls short or letting them go to voicemail. Speaking clearly, calling from a quiet room, and asking whether a different time of day works better can all help.
A CapTel captioned telephone is another option. It displays the caller’s words on a screen during the call, so your parent can read anything they didn’t quite catch. That can be especially helpful for calls with details, like appointment times or medication changes. Our post on types of hearing loss and how they affect phone communication explains why calls can be harder to follow than in-person conversations.
Keeping Information in One Place
When several people are helping, it’s easy for details to get lost. Having one shared place for important information keeps everyone on the same page. That could be a shared online document, a group calendar, or a notebook near your parent’s phone, with photos or copies sent to the rest of the family.
Helpful things to keep there include:
- Doctor, pharmacy, and insurance contact information
- A current list of medications
- Upcoming appointments
- Contact information for neighbors and local helpers
- Notes from recent check-in calls
Staying Involved in Appointments
With your parent’s permission, you may be able to join appointments by phone or video, or ask someone nearby to go with them. Many providers also offer online patient portals where visit notes can be shared once the right permissions are in place.
If your parent wears hearing aids or has trouble hearing, it may be helpful to mention that to the provider’s office ahead of time so they can plan for a quiet room or written instructions.
Taking Care of Yourself
Caregiving from a distance can bring its own kind of worry, especially when you can’t be there in person. It may help to remember that the calls you make, the plans you coordinate, and the people you connect are all real ways of caring.
Setting aside time for yourself, whether it’s a walk, a hobby, or time with friends, can help you stay patient and present. And when you need a break, leaning on the other people involved is part of how a care team works.
Take the next step:
- Learn how a CapTel captioned telephone can make regular check-in calls easier to follow
- Find out which CapTel phone model might be the best fit for you or someone you care about
- See if you or someone you care about may be eligible to receive a CapTel phone at no cost
- For questions or to learn more, call CapTel at 1-800-233-9130
Keep exploring: More on phones for hearing loss | Visit the CapTel blog | Share this article with a friend
CapTel® is the inventor and technology leader in Captioned Telephones for people with hearing loss. CapTel phones show word-for-word captions of everything a caller says, helping those with hearing loss stay connected with the important people in their lives.
